A Pirate's Hirsute Life

Tanner has very interesting work email correspondence...

Beard Contest Entrant: "My friends call me 'throat-beard the pirate.' I be wanting to plunder the booty."

Kirsten: "Baby, is that a come on?"
Tanner: "Not to me."
Kirsten: "Does plunder mean penetrate?"
Tanner: "No, it's a pirate word."
Kirsten: "I think it means penetrate."