Bonding over poop-soup

Today my dad FORCED me to workout against my will. I will admit it really was a nice way to keep my mind off of the undeniable...I'm leaving my hometown, CV, and it isn't easy. But anyway we got to the gym and there was Natalie to greet us at the door with a surprise (which we seem to get three times a week at bootcamp). She came up with a cardio day that included running around to people's homes asking them to donate nonperishable food items to us. Then we pack up all the goods in our grocery sacks and off to the next house on foot, preferably running. Sounds terrific, right? Running around outside with 29+ soup cans dangling from each shoulder...neat.

Since we were the sixth class to be performing this little task we were bound to run into some people that have already been asked to raid their cupboards for our workout and a good cause. Well dad and I aren't so good at strategizing. We started off running but my pops was crying about his aches and pains (I learned today where I get my constant urge to whine). He did have a good excuse though, he won a very important softball game last night, and word on the street is that it's the best game he's ever played. So we scurried down to my neighborhood and began knocking. Unfortunately we hit a saturated area. But people were really nice and gave whatever they could.

I thought I hit the jackpot when we stopped at my backdoor neighbor's house, with the creepy, possessed, single-colored (eyes, body, nose, you name it) dog. She invited me in and Cyrus (the dog) stared at my soul and demanded that I pet him and ask him to do tricks. He had me backed into a corner so I cracked and began telling him to roll over and speak. I was about to get out the hula-hoop when the mother of the house emerged from the basement with a whole pallet full of gumbo soup. She stated that she couldn't get her kids to eat this soup. So it ended up being perfect for both parties.

I went on my merry way and my competitive edge surfaced and I was getting ready to...what the? Something was leaking from my bag and all over the one pair of shorts that aren't packed somewhere in an ocean of boxes. I opened the bag...and oh no...it smelled and looked like Cyrus ate the gumbo soup and then crapped in my bag! It was leaking all over the place, thank goodness my dad was there to handle the vomit-festival. Apparently one of the cans decided to open it self right up on backdoor neighbor mom's shelf and grow something indescribable. He pulled out the moldy, disgusting can and disposed of it. He even carried the grody bag back to the Sports Academy as it continued to leak all over him. And oh man...the stench was...see below* We could have left the bag behind but this was a competition, hello! Ew...just got a whiff, its been many hours and I have taken a shower but it's lingering in my nostrils. When we got back to the Sports Academy our two-man team counted out 38 goods, not bad for a forty minute workout. Thanks Natalie for creating a platform for this daddy-daughter bonding sesh even if it included some poop-soup.

*abhorrent, abominable, awful, beastly, creepy, detestable, foul, fulsome, gross, hateful, hideous, loathsome, mawkish, nasty, nauseating, noisome, obscene, odious, offensive, rebarbative, repugnant, repulsive, revolting, shocking, sickening, vile, yucky